wordsandwords

Would you consider it greedy To ache for all that brightness Missing that exquisite feeling The one of belonging and rightness It's strange to yearn for crowded rooms For so many lilts and tones But jarring is this silence now Greyness, evenings spent alone Spent are my limbs and lungs A rest from the fight is blessed Alas the lack of friends I made Leaves my heart put to the test And perhaps it's just a drama Withdrawal from my high of glee Now my soul is left unsatisfied It makes no sense to you, but me And no man is an island I've heard it said once or twice Before, not knowing any difference Now here a drowning vice But may I still cling on to hope That the door is still half open Some of you may remember me Have enjoyed the words we've spoken And mayhaps, tis the darkness Whispers words against new friends That perhaps what has been started It has yet to meet its ends

If for all the hopes and wishes In my heart I had A button or a bead then I'd be just like an old lady living alone With a tin that used to contain chocolate Crammed full Up to the brim with what once had been Useful, bright and ready to be used Now just fragments Reminders of what plans I'd made Rattling around Until I pass away and to anyone else They're nothing Meaningless oddments to throw in the bin

A teardrop to a summer storm Or more a truck stop to a driver I do not know which one I was My hope is that I'll be neither A petal on a dying rose Or its bush's prickly thorns Either evergreen and unwanted Or finite despite who mourns It's hard to see what's pencil And what is written in ink I know that I'm indelible Or at least that's what I think To depart and leave behind Naught but a ghost of joy and pain I'll work until I'm deadly sure Something of me will remain

I'm bleeding on the dance floor But the band keeps playing on And the dancers keep on twirling As their shoe soles turn crimson My blood type's AB positive              And I'm positively sure                         I wish the only blood that's spilling  Would be mine across this floor My eyes drift close, I'm failing           The band's melody begins to waver And the dancers dance more slowly    To this new melancholy flavour My lady beckons me closer                My cheek rests on the sticky floor    She's finally come to collect me          And set me free from this life's chore Yet my heart does not feel joyous    Only sorrow has made it crack     Though all awaits me is more pain      I'll give anything to go back This is how this chapter ends But there’s still more here to write I’ll pick myself up off this floor    This novel won’t end tonight I'm bleeding on the dance floor And

Do not press against these walls These structures made of ash And dust from all the little things that shattered, made of glass I have lived in many houses That have all been built the same I try to build them stronger Yet they all end up aflame This goes around in circles A torture without end Until I end up six feet down In death I need no friends

It's the family Christmas party And everyone's gathered around A chance to praise the family smarties The rest go drink another round My great aunt's still talking, droning on Showing no signs of wearying or dropping The babies start screaming, one by one Shushed by mums, but not completely stopping Eyeing up games, not monopoly, we're not mad Even my Nana's sneaked out back for a fag The food's been scoffed, mostly by my dad We've been here an hour, it feels like a drag At last I remember, as I'm on my umpteenth beer This is why we go through this just the once a year

End of day, soft pillow, warm quilt Heater on high, empty room Out-back courtyard, moon bright, stone hard Goosebumps in post-midnight gloom Eyes wide, can't sleep, struggling to unwind Cold air, cold heart Bare legs, smoke curls, once neat hair unfurls Inside, fall apart Orange light, stubbed out Long night, no doubt

This is my place This is for me And if death comes for me tomorrow Heaven should be here Right here Perhaps with the addition of books Arranged neatly on a shelf With pen and paper that never run out And a teapot like that too This is my place And if life's path should lead me on This place shall live forever in my mind And in dreams, I live on in it

I still dream about you When dark nights come without a star You slip into my mind, heedless of other fantasies Because I loved you And each unconscious torment is born of my own fallacies We were young, we could've had it all Our laughter chimed, our hearts were light Because I loved you And when you asked, I stayed through the night It wasn't enough

The first time you died was when you met her You came home and I saw the light in your eyes My smile is fixed as you describe her work And I could feel the fires of your love for me die I did not weep until you'd gone, my tears saved for the next day The second time you died was with her in the car The crash, then the funeral, you stood; a shell You died a death inside, and I knew if you could You would swap us around and send me to hell I did not weep till late at night, but my love for you would stay The third time you died there was nothing for me We had such hopes, I recall as my hands tightened A necklace of the dust of my love gave you a blue blush Your last death was mine and I found myself enlightened I did not weep for you, my love, I just let you fade away

This is the place I love the most as I lounge On a dark leather seat, cup in one hand Phone clutched in the other as we sit Talking about nothing, enjoying the day This is the place I shared with you A quiet place, full of scents and sound And now the buzz of the phone in my hand Signalling words from the word on my arm This is the place I feel most calm Soothed, though stunned inside my soul As you smile and chat to me, a table Between me and you, but now a gaping chasm This is the place you burned me inside As we decided to leave, and I insisted That I pay for mine and you for yours You noticed my silence as we walked out the door This is the place that still remains mine And your cruel word linger only to remind Whilst you have been tarnished, by saying things unkind The Mystery Tea shop shall stay forever divine

When light is cold and warmth is cruel Steel is home and blue is feeling And there is no relief for those crying Not for hedonists nor for those kneeling No way to stop this hopeless feeling Clockwork workers, silently bleeding Day in, day out and never ending Always wanting but never needing Clockwork people in plastic cities Don't tell the truth of how they're feeling They lie and cry and keep on going And know they have no chance of healing